Well only 4 days after the election we have a winner and it's Joe Biden! Everything is just stupider and takes longer in this pandemic. Election night was a little startling to begin with, the wave of anti-Trump sentiment did not really play out in fact it may have made even stupider people vote for him. We all went to bed that night knowing Biden had won the "Blue Wall" the Great Lake states of Wisconsin, Michigan and Minnesota and may have flipped Georgia and Arizona and Nevada would take forever to count, Biden was stuck at 253 and Trump 213 electoral votes, this would go on the rest of the week until the Keystone state Pennsylvania could count, truly with 20 electoral votes this was key in any presidential bid, Trump won it in 16. Turns out most Democrat voters were scared of covid and voted by mail and absentee methods which many states count last because America is full of stupid rules and conventions. Trump was telling all his voters to vote in person knowing many of those votes would be counted first making him look like he had the lead and in his not secret plan would claim victory on Tuesday night and hopefully stop the counting. It didn't work out that way. The media refused to declare a winner and everyday we would wait for more count to come in from especially PA but also AZ and NV as Trump could sweep all the remaining states including GA and win but no one really believed that would happen. I remember James Carville saying in his delightful Louisiana accent democrats would handily win PA and probably AZ too, he was right! (although we are still counting AZ now) The weather here was really warm all week so instead of watching the same news about micro vote counting I could get out and do some fall garden projects, most nights were spent drinking and half watching MSNBC for any breaking news. It was like the slowest 4 days in Earth history, Wednesday morning I was pretty upset so many people voted for Trump and Democrats lost some seats in Congress and did not flip the seats of the evil Mitch McConnel and Trump cocksucker Ms Lindsay Graham, as time wore on slowly the news became more hopeful Biden would win. Wednesday, Thursday, maybe Friday night we would have a result!?!?! Nope! Finally Saturday came and as I lay in bed thinking should I get up and check the news I could hear all our phones chiming which I took as good news, it was news alerts of course and the news was good!!!! It was around 930am here when I turned on the TV to people celebrating in the streets all over America, it had been finally decided for Biden, Ding Dong the fucking old wicked bastard witch is dead! or at least his stupid presidency is! To pass the time on Tuesday night I was planning on making some kind of sign for when Trump was declared the loser, I made, out of paper, letters that spelled out "Hallelujah Bigly" and eventually had to tape them to my front window as we were experiencing a blizzard by Saturday. Let me just say that hallelujah is such a stupidly long word filled with Ls, luckily cutting the letter L is pretty easy and there are 4 of them in this phrase. I also have a squishable Trump head which I posed with a hammer crushing it ready to text to all my friends and family. Most reactions to my creativity were kinda meh, people just don't like funny things anymore I guess, my sister in BC didn't even know "Bigly" was a famous Trumpism, what a dummy, who doesn't know that!?!?! She said I haven't been paying attention to news for the past few months, the past few months? This became a thing when Trump first came in 4 years ago and has been made fun of ever since. This is why I have so much trepidation moving to BC, so much insular know-nothingness among the population.
Surpise, surprise Trump is refusing to concede! Who knew? Everyone maybe? It's a disgrace to democracy and America herself but we don't expect anything less from President dip shit! In what I think is the most comedic and fittingly stupid end to this stupid administration Giulliani the presidents "lawyer" tweeted he would be making a statement at the 4 Seasons Philadelphia turned out he meant the 4 Seasons Landscaping company located in some industrial area in Philly between a Crematorium and a Sex Shop called Fantasy Island where he proceeded to rant about nuts conspiracy theories in front of a garage door with Trump election signs taped on it. Truly a nuts, stupid, and fitting end to this pathetic sinking ship.
Breaking news today is that a vaccine looks promising sending the stock market up, Trump fires Secretry of Defence Mark Esper because he supported renaming bases and or Trump is planning a military coup, we'll see, he's been mostly silent and angrily golfing all weekend. There are still, of course, Trump followers trying to cause trouble and protesting all over, when reporters ask them questions they have no answers, my favourite is the young guy complaining about counting mail in ballots, the reporter says Trump asked his supporters to vote in person and those have been counted, he has no answer. Some Republicans like Lindsay Graham are resisting but this is a losing battle, even George W. Bush is telling people to accept the vote, at this point resisting math is futile!
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