A Pandemic Journal, Goddamned Millennials and My Last Gay Nerve!

     TGIF! Like this matters anymore! LOL I am getting tired of the world encroaching on my lonely life! The news and press conferences are just becoming a drag to watch, I'm so sick of it. Locally there are still many shootings, the rifff raff seems restless during the pandemic, stupidity! News I find funny is that Boris Johnson of the UK as well as the UK Health Secretary have tested positive for the virus, I shouldn't laugh but the Brits have been acting so foolish and then this dim wit is releasing statements in that snooty put on accent! Sheesh! The Brits have started a thing where they stand outside or out a window to clap for health care workers everyday at 7pm, it is catching on a little in Canada too, the old lady across the street and the people with kids were doing it the other day too. One thing I can't get out of my mind is a split screen of Prince Charles clapping on a door stoop and Camilla seated at an open window clapping, the image is just nuts and makes me laugh for days after! Mostly I am having a few drinks and listening to music ignoring the insanity, Saturday was really nice and sunny and warm, I decide to plant some seedlings in a starter tray which of course induces a week long or more cloudy spell, having sun on the windowsill really speeds up germination, it's a washing your car principle, it will rain now, or in our case snow for a fucking week! Yes, the in like a lamb March saying is really coming true again, or is it that we just have shitty weather at all times? The forecast is for well below freezing and plenty of snow! Oh great, at least it will keep people out of the park I hope? Saturday was quite cold, it was supposed to be 11C but turned out 0 and cloudy, it's the weather I hate most! Not many people in the park except a group of people, about 8, having an obedience class for dogs, as I pass I say to one, "I don't think this is social distancing" she gives me a stunned grimace, stupid idiots! People seem to think that being outside with 6 feet around them will prevent covid, I don't really think so, sorry. Sunday is much warmer but still cloudy, I hate constant cloud it puts me on edge, it would feel like summer but for the cloud! The park is way too crowded today, many joggers, walkers, families, more than would be out on a normal nice day. Bella of course runs up to a family and lays down the frisbee, I say to not touch it then they (family of 4) just stand there and I have approach them closely to go pick up the toy, I wanted to say back the fuck up idiots, 6 feet!!! Jesus people are dumb, it's like they have never seen a dog in a park or something and don't know how to react! It makes me mad the rest of my walk home! I tell Gord how mad I am all the stupid people and he gives me some patronizing remarks which just makes me madder. I have to spray off the dog in the bathtub which just gets tiresome at this time of year and makes me mad. By the time I go outside to listen to music and have a drink the dog is at the neighbours, "why is she wet?" She just had a bath Einstein! I don't really want to talk to them but I do and angrily tell them of the too many people in the park story and there are too many joggers, since they are avid jogging idiots themselves they start patronizing me and laughing at me, this makes me even more mad! I say "no wonder Calgary has such a high level of infection" which we do, they doubt my remarks and laugh more, I am really angry now, and still am! They are having some friends over to sit in the yard as if some distance is OK, I think it's stupid, and annoying! One of the couples has a new baby, I think this is foolish and self centered but who am I to criticize this self involved generation who had everything given to them and never heard the word no? Please all get the virus because your lives are so vapid you can't go a few days without yacking about your stupid lives! I listen to DEVO loudly in the backyard, partly to drown out the screeching baby and partly to be an asshole, I hope this is annoying!? I try burning some dry dead plant material but it just doesn't catch, too cold and moist yet I guess! I am still fuming about being laughed at, yes I am such a stupid old man, would you like to call me fat as well? My main issue is that there are too many people in DOG PARKS! Go jog on the sidewalks, stop gathering in parks, I have a dog I am supposed to be here! Gord calms me down somewhat but I really don't want him around either, there are just too many people in the world everywhere, surrounding me, making me mad!!!! I plan to have a BBQ as it will be winter for maybe the rest of April at this point so I take a trip to Co-Op, it's pretty crowded with lots of e;derly people who are probably not taking this virus seriously, how people go out with naked hands is beyond me and I'm sorry, if you are an elderly person, why are you even out? The risk to elderly is immense but oh well, I am so mad at this point I hope that half the world gets it and dies! Lets get rid of some Conservative voters! A few more beers makes me calm down and we have steak and baked potato and watch Once Upon A Time In Hollywood, I normally despise Tarrantino (yes, let the hate mail ensue) but I don't hate this movie for some reason, I like the time period and acting (surprisingly!) but I can't stay awake for the entire thing, this is nothing new for me, I will finish it later! Part of the fun of getting old kids!

In the News; Trump is backing down from his Easter plan of going back to normal, how did this happen? No one knows! The Sunday shows are rife with the regular stupidity, ass kissing the Trump administration idiots who appear regularly! God dammit I hate you Chuck Todd, such a milquetoast!

Cases in Calgary as of March 30 are 408, the rest of Alberta including Edmonton add up to only 253! Calgary is slightly larger but not by that much, hmmm just what is going wrong here??? I would say it's a bunch of self involved assholes who are taking social isolation only half seriously, some of them elderly and not understanding or respecting government guidelines and the other half Millennial twits who must fill their empty lives with socializing and jogging in dog parks! As Jimmy Kimmel recently said we used to have a society glued to their devices now all they want to do is go outside, what the hell!?
I am wondering what some of the consequences will be, we came up with a maybe more domestic abuse theory on the weekend and indeed someone did mention this on one of the political talk shows on the weekend. I still see families walking around all the time and just wonder how long this will last? When will the novelty wear off? I still think part of the problem is that people are still treating this as a vacation! I just find it hard to believe that couples want to spend this much time together and add kids to the mix? I might find myself in a Jack Torrance, ala Shining, situation in a short time if I had kids! I noticed my other neighbours were having a date night with wine on Saturday and I wonder how long this peaceful bliss will last with normal heterosexual people?. after all one day the ice will melt and straight men will no longer have 4 hours of ice chipping to occupy their lives! My dad used to vacuum the car all Sunday afternoon, take a page from those classic dudes Millennials!!! Anyway, I wonder if there will be more divorce-breakups because they might realize they hate each other without all the normal distractions of work, friends, going out, etc.? I think most people are just empty idiots who fill their lives with junk to kill time, myself ? I'm an artist honey, I have plenty to occupy my mind thank you. Did I ever tell you about the time I lived in Mexico? For the first 3 months I spent most of my time alone, Gord was working, and I didn't know any Espanol or want to hang out with American tourists so I spent time writing, reading, painting, observing, and sorry to sound like an asshole but I can occupy my time most of you cannot!!! As my old friend Lori once said "you are never bored, are you?" Nope, I most certainly am not!
Will people realize the things around them, the job they have, the things they do and people they hang out with have less or little meaning? God I can only hope so, maybe if we put LSD in the water?. I may be expecting too much from people!
Monday, it's too hard to watch TV, I am still angry from yesterday, I watch the View and for once it is not preempted by a god damned press conference! I just find everything annoying and have to listen to the music channel while typing. Everything is on my last gay nerve these days!

A Pandemic journal, Wednesday-Thursday

     Went to Safeway Wednesday, I figure even in non pandemic times this store is not very busy, this is my first time in a store since the last grocery mele. On my way I notice a playground is taped off in yellow "danger" tape, like a crime scene. I am correct this location is not very busy at all although there are signs that say "we are limiting sales of this item" things like hand sanitizer and rubber gloves are sold out as well the usual in these times, pasta, toilet paper, and canned goods. Selection of produce seems normal except I can't find a bag of onions, selection of many other items is limited, dairy and frozen and bread seem normal, go figure!? Large X's on the floor mark out where to stand in case of a line up, 6 feet or 2meters is the new public distance to know and keep! My cashier isn't very friendly, she should be lucky she has a job I think! Streets are eerily empty.
In the news Price Charles has contracted the virus and I'm not surprised the British have been acting very foolish in this pandemic.
I am tired of listening to news and press events and decide to make homemade dog treats as we are running low. It is easy with only a few ingredients, meat flavoured baby food, whole wheat flour and I added a little egg to bring it together. I add flax to the beef ones and oats to the turkey ones, Bella can't get enough! I also made sweet potato chips for dogs, sans sel (no salt), but I think they're pretty good too! It takes most of the afternoon and it strains my back to some degree so I decide to have a beer which turns into many after that! It's nice to have a day off of the plague!
     Thursday I decide to drop off my tax stuff to my accountant downtown, he is in mandatory 14 day isolation since returning from a Mexican vacation, I can just put it thru the mail slot. It's nice to drive all the way to the SW, actually past downtown, with minimal traffic, there is still plenty of construction all over and I sadly notice a development notice on one of the really old apartment blocks, The President, how depressing! Who will be moving to Calgary when oil is being phased out in the world and we will have American style health care soon? Yee Haw! None of the benefits of living in Canada and not America either, we also have really shitty weather at any time of the year too! Did we also mention the wind? I walk the dog to the usual field knowing most of it is underwater right now and also really muddy, thankfully there are less people everywhere today! New measures have been announced by the Federal Government, steep fines if you are a carrier who knowingly goes out in public from tens of thousands to a million$! It does seem less busy everywhere even though it's a pretty nice sunny day, a little too windy though. The US announces it will militarize the Canadian border, in places, it's a travesty our government is clearly trying to state to the Yanks. Such a dick move from President dipshit, the US has more cases than we will ever have and they are scared of us, such an idiot, I just can't wait till he is voted out or removed by sane people or this virus! The US has surpassed China and Italy this afternoon in number of cases, at 83,144, finally they may shout we're number 1!!! It seemed like cases in the states were going up by about 10,000 a day last week and now it seems more like 15,000 a day, when will this rate slow down? Probably not anytime soon according to the models! Also on the site I look at everyday the graph for Canada shows a decrease in new cases this week, some nice news for once, it would be great if all our measures of isolation are paying off! Dr. Phil is arguing with idots who do not believe in the pandemic or obey isolation measures, one a lady Gaga lookalike who is just a stupid 20 something in denial and the other a dumb southern minister who wants to open his church, the last one is the most concerning as it seems all these evangelical Trumpsters want to ignore science, this will not end well!!! But if people learn a lesson that religion is stupid and dangerous then so be it! I can't stop these nuts from drinking the kool-aid, I feel bad for the innocent citizens and children who will be victims and pray this evil stupidity will be wiped from Earth one day!

A Pandemic Journal, Tuesday, Jonesing For Kool-Aid, The Trump Death Cult

     Was up at 5am so watched some You Tube, a lot of the late night comedians are doing bits from home, it's like what I imagine they will be doing in year 10 of the Trump regime when he makes all criticism illegal. It's pretty weird, Seth Meyers at home in his hallway, Jimmy Kimmel driving around Beverly Hills talking to some guy (celebrity I don't know) thru a laptop taped to his car. Fall back asleep again until quarter to 10! Cripes! my day is off now, I don't really like sleeping in, one of the few days there is no Trump presser too. My mom called Gord as my phone says all circuits are busy, weird, I call her back later for chit chat and let her know I feel good, my cough is pretty much gone, the lung crackle too! The day is gloomy but more on the spring side of things than winter like last week. I take the dog for a walk by the Russian Church on the side of the hill overlooking the City, it is eerily quiet and I see an airplane for the first time in a week! There are much less people wandering around in this cool weather and Bella is much better behaved today.
      Joe Biden is making the rounds on media today, the View and Nicole Wallace's show, it's nice to hear a compassionate and sensible human being running for office, can't wait till this guy is President!
New York Governor Cuomo needs tens of thousands of supplies as NY becomes the new epicenter of the pandemic and New Jersey is quickly becoming the second, raising questions about the entire Eastern corridor.
A man has died and his spouse is in hospital after ingesting chloroquine phosphate because they heard the President touting the benefits of a different drug with the name chloroquine, this one is for cleaning fish tanks! People are stupid but this President is becoming a danger to the public!
Locally, Jason Kenney is still trying to fuck with Alberta doctors and hoping no one will notice during these times, it makes me so angry but I haven't had time to digest all the facts yet, my mom thinks that "they are not doing this" "oh yes they are" I say. The public will not stand for this I think.
I learned recently that the US is the fastest growing rate of corona in the world and post this fact on facebook to see what happens, in less than 5 minutes I get a "no it's not" enraged I find a really great site in about 30 seconds that gives stats for the world and clearly shows this fact, I post it quickly back, "scroll down honey and look at the numbers" I reply. Clearly the Trump idiots or Russian trolls or whoever these dimwits are need to know the facts, I don't know if it will help but this needs to start sinking into American minds, the American media is characteristically not reporting such a depressing fact. They are often like this in a crisis, bad at being self aware or critical of their own country's failings.
Last night we see a FOX news clip of the Lieutenant Governor of Texas Dan Patrick say that he would sacrifice his life so his grandchildren can have the America he loves, that he and other old people should risk death from corona rather than shut down the country! This is just becoming a Jim Jones drink the Kool-Aid moment! Sheesh! OK dude maybe you would like to die for Trump but most people do not! God fuckin' sakes I cannot believe the insanity right now from these Trump cultists!!! I watched my dad and best friend die from cancer and can tell you they all said "I don't want to die!" at any age for any reason! I also really doubt some privileged rich white idiot would want to die for the economy or any reason, it would be a first in history I think! But are we going to endure more of this garbage from the right? From FOX news? From Trump ass-kissers like Pence and Cruz? Will they ask their base and viewing audience to suck it up and die for the love of Trump? Is it wise to ask or expect this much from your base? Even in Jim Jones' Guyana cult camp many tried to escape, there are always a few who try to escape in all the cult stories and usually innocent child victims perish from their nonsense as in Waco with that nut or Heavens Gate where they castrated themselves and set their houses on fire, the last one sounds like a parallel for the US right now!!! None the less Trump is pushing now for going back to normal at Easter, you know because Easter is so important to him or rather someone told him of the symbolic importance of this move, I guarantee you this dimwit knows nothing of the story of Jesus or any of the mythology around rebirth! He wants to see churches full of people on Easter Sunday now, for Christs sake, I just don't know how this episode of American history can become more like a weird apocalyptic Science Fiction?
In Canada Ontario has shut down all non-essential services, essential services include grocery, pharmacy, alcohol and marijuana stores, which answers a few of our questions at least. Not sure how we would stock up on beer to get thru an indeterminate amount of time!? The City should just hook up beer or wine to our water supply!
I have been looking at the numbers for a few countries on the corona website I found recently and it looks like Canada is no different than the US right now, scary, the graph just goes up and up. Looking at the China and Korea graphs is interesting as they have peaked but I need to know more about how to read them especially death and recovery graphs, hopefully I will find out soon, I usually do with these things.

A Pandemic Journal, Late March

Monday 23rd, had a good sleep, feeling good, slight chest congestion, much less coughing. Woke up to find someone has been in the yard again, entered the car, left the door ajar. This has been maybe the 4th time this has happened, I fill out the online Police report, it's becoming a familiar task. They never take anything but I keep reporting it, it's creepy and stupid and you may have exposed yourself to Covid, who knows? I am eager to get started on this but Gord won't leave my spot and go to his dining room office and I need to get yesterdays thoughts down before too much news fills my mind. The dog is acting like a 5 year old, let me out, let me in, treat? playtime? nudge, nudge.
In the News; The View is preempted for the Michigan Governor, they are just now enacting a shut down! Geeze! The Americans are so behind, no wonder they are surging in cases! Although the UK just shut down a day or so ago too! Facepalm!
CTV also preempts at this time for chit chat about the virus, I'm just sick of it! I understand the science.
The Canadian Government bows to pressure recently to evacuate rich idiots from Morocco, Peru and some other exotic countries. These people are just rich tourists who are now stranded because there are no longer commercial flights, and taxpayers must rescue them. Never mind we have natives in this country without clean drinking water or a homeless explosion in our major cities?
I watch the View later on our local station, they do not mention the Mitt Romney thing to my surprise but Sunny does say that the media should stop covering Trumps daily stupid conferences.
Noon News:
The Tokyo Olympics this summer are in limbo, Canadian athletes are not attending.
City of Calgary closes playgrounds.
Trudeau scolds Canadians "enough is enough" on too many people ignoring social distancing, there could be more serious measures taken, fines?
Trump is already bored of social isolation and hints on twitter, in all caps, that "the cure can't be worse than the problem...we will make a decision in 15 days" so stupid, so irresponsible, he should be 25th amendment-ed out of office! He doesn't care about peoples lives only his own!
Harvey Weinstein has the virus, now that is someone you can say oh really that's too bad, about!
Average gas price in Calgary 68.9 cents/L, holy shit!
I learned that Senator Rand Paul who is a M.D. swam in the Senate swimming pool after knowing he was positive for Corona!
There is talk that the US rate of infection may be partly due to high rates of vaping. If what I have is a mild corona sickness then yes I can see how any smoking would impair the lungs, this will make young folks quite vulnerable.
US cases have jumped 10,00 over the weekend t o 41,113 currently.
Walking the dog:
     Was a total nightmare today, some lady in a parka yelled at me for walking the dog thru the school field, it is sunny and feels like 15 C! She lives in one of the brand new infills  and says to me "that's not an offleash area" so I say "schools are closed" "I'll call the city"she says, "FU mind your own business" I mean really schools and playgrounds are closed and you moved in a month ago, get a life. The dog park is in full melt down, rivulets of water and pooling everywhere, hard to walk, don't wan't wet boots. Bella continues being a dickhead trying to meet everyone eventually running up the embankment to 8th Ave. to see some guy walking on the sidewalk up there and then drop her frisbee at the top which she aboslutely will not retrieve so I have to run all the way up, swearing, yelling, god damnit I am mad at her. I put the leash on her and storm up one of the big hills and head home on dry ground. There are just too many people and children around, it's just too annoying for me! Shouldn't people be setting up some kind of home schooling structure for their lil' shitheads? It is not a holiday!
I am also really tired of this quarantine already.

A Pandemic Journal, Another Pleasant Valley Sunday

     Watched the Elton John Fantasy movie Rocketman Saturday Night, it's fun, I think it could have had more songs in it actually, maybe less dialogue? Feeling pretty good and awake to a very clear dawn, I can hear my lungs crackling like my Father in Law in the final stages of COPD it also reminds me of a movie monster that I can't quite remember, kind of like a giant snake, could be the modern Godzilla? My chest congestion gets better being vertical and the coughing is way down, it's frosty outside but the sun is melting it as soon as it touches it, the Monkees song Pleasant Valley Sunday comes to mind, it's funny to me in a creepy ironic way like an HBO drama. It's nice enough to have a coffee outside in the sun, Bella enjoys just hanging out and laying on the hard snow. The first seagulls are back, I can hear their comforting calls, the Robins won't be far behind now! It's one of those days when it feels like winter is leaving which is very special at this latitude, there are a few green shoots coming up in the front bed, crocus, daffodil and daylily, spring is here! My millennial neighbour is putting the cat out and remarks that we are on "day 6 of quarantine" and he is already bored, I am thinking that this is going to be hard for most people, people with jobs and friends and who need socializing.  Gord takes the dog for a morning run which she knows is the routine when he is around, usually weekends, but now it's all the time, she is a manipulator. I always take her after lunch, our normal routine, and today opt for a shorter neighbourhood walk since all the parks seem so crowded these days. I am learning that no matter where you go there are people with kids walking every where! I didn't know there were so many families in my neighbourhood, when we moved here 20 years ago it was all elderly people, sheesh!
My plan today is to get some of the shrubs trimmed in the backyard while they're still dormant, it's the best time to trim most trees and shrubs. It's very nice too warm for a coat or hoodie, the removal of the top of the topiaried Siberian Elm goes well, it's almost to tall to reach with the trimmers so needs to be shorter and the large lilac branch is also really easy to saw thru, who knew? So my chores are done pretty quickly. I listen to Pleasant Valley Sunday followed by World Destruction it's actually about nuclear war but fits these times quite well! After cleaning up the branches I decide to fix the back gate and talk to my neighbours from a safe distance, they are following social distancing, he is stocking up on beer and alcohol in case the stores get closed, I think there might be social disorder if this happened and if it did we would be in a pretty bad situation! For the first time in over a week I have a few beers, it's just like a nice Sunday anytime in history. We also discover that Neo Citron and Courvoisier go really well together. Gord makes a garlic knot bread in the ceramic bread cloche, it is wonderful so I change the menu to pork shoulder stewed in Ancho and Chipolte chilies. It's almost too flavorful and super filling, we watch a Norwegian Twilight Zone style show on Netflix, weird.

In the News: I always catch some news I just can't live life oblivious. CTV National's US reporter tells us some fun facts such as during Trumps 1.5 hour blabber fest Saturday US cases of Covid go up 1,000 and there are 2 deaths. Turns out the weather across Canada is pretty nice and there are problems of too many people at beaches and parks everywhere, Vancouver removes the large logs used for sheltering, sitting etc from  English Bay, too many people! I know, we talked to our other young neighbours  on their way to the park to meet some friends, I'm not sure how we are going to make people social distance themselves? However, it does seem that Canada is fairing much better than the US who now has the 3rd largest number of Covid cases in the world and has the fastest growing number of cases, which none of them are talking about!
We learn that US Senator Rand Paul has tested positive and has possibly exposed Senator Mitt Romney, in Trumps lowest moment as a human being his says in a sarcastic tone "Mitt Romney? Oh really, thats too bad." He will surely go the 7th level of Hell at this point!

A Pandemic Journal, Dark Night of the Soul, Friday

     By Friday afternoon I am not feeling well at all, the walk with the dog really took it out of me. I can feel the pressure in my chest and suddenly have chills so curl up under a blanket, my temperature is elevated, not dangerous yet but this is making me paranoid, Gord thinks I brought it on myself, histrionics he says. I am really believing that I have the Corona virus and am going thru my mind thinking about everything I have done in the last 2 weeks and also feeling really guilty to all the people and places and things I have touched from here to Saskatchewan too! I am feeling like Typhoid Mary and wondering why our government didn't shut things down a week or two earlier, I guess we were all living in a fantasy world back then? I hear on the news that the UK is just beginning to shut down pubs and gathering and places like Illinois and New Jersey too, it all seems too late now. If I am just feeling symptoms now and it takes 14 days it is all too late my dears! I start saying things like we might have a nice spring this year hope I live to see it. I am feeling too woozy to make dinner nor really have an appetite so Gord is making Calzone's under my remote direction, I get up to make the sauce and notice the smell of garlic is like how I experienced it when I was recovering from my appendicitis a few years back, kind of like bad BO or something, not appealing, and not a good sign for my health. I continue sitting on the couch and listening to my favourite MSNBC programs and playing a game on my tablet. The main takeaways today were Trump attacking veteran NBC reporter Peter Alexander who asked "what do you have to say to Americans who are scared?" It's a low ball question, a gimme in the biz, say something nice stupid, so what does stupid do? attack of course, something like you are a terrible reporter you are "doing sensationalism" Trump says. Since Gord always takes so long to cook I think I have seen the same story at least 3 times on different shows, it induces a string of profanity from me every time, those reporter should walk the f out, that stupid f'n idiot etc. Gord endures the same string of swearing from me and agrees from the kitchen. Another issue is Trump saying a Malaria drug is working even tho Dr. Anthony Fauci discredited this claim in the same presser, Trump says he is a "fan of this drug" it's so stupid, we use "facepalm" on social media for something this stupid. Rachael Maddow proposes that the media stop broadcasting this misinformation from the president, something I have said for 3 years but now it's very serious. These events are just turning into mini rallies for him and we've heard it all before the fake news line BS the attacking reporters and the one I hate most when he tells reporters to be quiet, it drives me nuts! Do people really still fall for this old line of crap? An article from the Washington Post is breaking news tonight by suggesting that Trump knew from intelligence agencies that a pandemic was looming in January! I absolutely believe this, look at the Senators who sold stock before the crash and look at the President who doesn't understand science and said this would all go away like a miracle, I don't think he was being evil (I hope) I just think he really is this stupid! Afterall this is a man who does not understand the difference between HPV and HIV, it's true, look it up! This news makes me even angrier as I now believe I could die or my mom could die or anyone I know and millions I don't, just because President dipshit doesn't believe or understand science, it's irresponsible, it's unforgivable it's criminal and I think this story will grow over the weekend. If true I think he should resign except VP Jar of Mayonnaise Pence might have the virus and is being tested. By the time we get to 9 pm I am pretty hungry and feeling much better, it was a passing bad spell I guess, I ate a small calzone and salad it was good! We watched 2019's The Dead Don't Die, Bill Murray, Adam Driver, Chloe Svigny, not bad I thought it would be funnier, Adam's comedic delivery is getting better these days. I take a cold pill and go to bed feeling not bad, able to breath, no fever.
     I awake at 4am, not that unusual for me, often I watch YouTube videos until I fall asleep again but this time I thought it a little early and opted for modern instrumental music on Spotify instead, yes we have it rough in these times! This music is so evocative of sadness, remembrance or the soundtrack of a really good drama, I begin thinking that we haven't really had time to grieve Gord's dad, we went from that hectic event right into this pandemic no time to breath! I begin thinking of everyone I know who died and how they affected my life; the down syndrome playmate who drowned playing near a street drain- swept away into the river, my first dog Misty, my Grandparents, a girl from High School who died at the hands of a drunk driver, my other Grandparents, my brother in law,  my second dog Baby Doll, my best friend from Art College, another friend from work- possibly suicide, Gords cousin who I adored and made my trips to Saskatchewan a real treat, my Dad, and finally my Father in Law, what do we do? What on Earth is any of this life for? All we have left is our memories and love I guess, and the love always feels the same. And then I teared up a little thinking about my current dog, Gord and myself will all one day die and hopefully not soon from this virus the god damned President knew about and did nothing about!!! Sheesh that was quite a night! I manage to fall asleep again until almost 10am! Why not it's Saturday? Feeling pretty good this morning my chest is pretty cleared up but all the pressure has gone to my head now! take more meds, feeling less lethal.
     President is on TV again this morning! Geeze, this is where we learn Pence is being tested and Trump is doubling down on the Malaria drug stuff again, Ben Carson is standing in the background looking like he's falling asleep against the US flag, I can't watch this! Death rates in Canada are half compared to the States on a per capita basis, they have a lot more density and we started isolation a week earlier, I think it will get worse in the US soon. Italy reports an overnight death toll of 793 people, the figures are racking up everywhere, also especially Iran, where they have practiced zero isolation measures. I just don't see the outbreak stopping, people are still roaming all over the park in groups or family groups and if you stop to think that symptoms don't show up for up to 14 days you can come into contact with a lot of people in that time. I just can't believe most people will tolerate isolation for long! In the words of George Carlin, imagine how stupid most people are and then imagine that half of them are even stupider!

A Pandemic Journal, Mid March 2020

     Back in the carefree weeks of February a close friend of ours told us of a relative and his family aboard the Diamond Princess Crusise Ship that was currently being docked in Tokyo harbor due to the virus. We would get updates from time to time, eventually the relative contracted the virus as did a few in his family group, one didn't get it at all! We heard on the news today that a Canadian died in Japan from this vessel and I just knew it was this person, I could feel it in me waters, and it was true. The man was 82 years old, it is hitting close to home now! Also MSNBC reported a death from the virus from their backstage family, I wonder how many more we will start to hear about now?

     This has been a helluva week! Monday the 16th to Friday the 20th (last week was Friday the 13th) it seems like forever already! St. Patricks day was pretty silent all over the world. The 3 levels of government here have enacted Emergency measures, most stores are shortening hours, schools, post secondary, all public buildings are closed, the zoo, the science centre everything shut down. Calgary Transit is asking people to board at the back of the bus to lessen contact with drivers. The world is pretty quiet, no traffic, no airplanes. While Canada is pretty much shut down many states in the US are operating as normal, all of them Republican of course! Rachael Maddow reported mid week that Texas, Tennessee, Oklahoma, Missouri, Mississippi, Idaho and Wyoming had no restrictions on large gatherings by Thursday only Idaho and Wyoming were left on that list. Florida was pretty half assed and won't have full closure of beaches till Monday 23rd. We have been treated to footage of drunk 20 year olds who think they are invincible and don't care if they get Carona virus while partying it up on crowded beaches. At the same time we are also learning that those in the age group 20-44 are susceptible to the virus and some have serious consequences! I'm sorry I was never this dumb, my generation grew up under the cloud of AIDS, it was a serious time! I appreciate that the View is on regularly, I thought it was stupid to carry on earlier but now I like this one normal thing left in my life! The downer is that a Trump Press Conference takes over around 9:30 almost every morning and I can't watch this dipshit!!! I did check back on the news about an hour later this morning to find Trump berating some reporter, what good is this? Why are these even happening, most of us think there should be no groups larger than 10 right now and Trump has 10 people appear with him on stage every morning! I seriously wonder if he will resign when people really start to die? He has never taken responsibility and we just got a photo recently of the stable genius who crossed out Corona virus to write Chinese virus over top in sharpie, we are not dealing with a mature or sane person! I was just imagining how a President Hillary would have handled this? We would be so much better off in the world, yet another reason to punch a Trump supporter in the face, if we're alive in 6 months!!!
     My cough is not going away and I feel chest congestion with phlegm, so of course I am worried, Alberta Health Link seems to think I am OK according to the online questionnaire, we will see! Maybe I am having a psychosomatic reaction but Gord feels the same, if it is Carona I hope we can get over with it and not worry! Talked to my mom and maybe she is taking this a little more seriously now, I told her to wear gloves if going out, bring a pen for keypads and get your affairs in order, I know this last one won't happen but thought I'd bring it up anyway! Texted my accountant to see what's up normally this is tax time but I believe the government is extending the season a few months now. Utility companies are forgiving late payment for 2 months or so, everyone is trying to help but the news says it could go on 6 to 12 months!
Walking the Dog; mostly made me mad, after a very gloomy snowy and cold week the sun came out and it is really nice today. With everyone off work the park is pretty crowded, many people not practicing self isolation but rather walking around with a friend or their entire family like they're in a Enya video! I am the only one angry it seems, most schmucks seem to think this is a fun holiday! Bella does not like if anyone coughs or spits which I have done earlier, it makes her act weird and not fetch normally so as I'm on the phone with my mom in the park Bella decides to go up to every single person and drop her Frisbee and get a pet, try to tell this dog to stay 6 feet away from people! I just want to yell out "Don't touch my things, not my dog or the toy!!!" Geeze, it is not normal times people! I am soaking the toy in bleach and hot water right now! I am used to having the world to myself in the week and I like it that way!
     Had a dream this morning that I met Michael J. Fox yet he wasn't affected by Parkinsons I told him he was nice but he seemed pretty cool- detached, for some reason Mary Heart was there too, dreams are stupid sometimes! I had another creepy dream back in the winter, I was looking out of my parents window to the North East but the area was how it used to be before the wall and all the development, I could see the moon on the horizon and then it set. Problem is, when I woke up I realized the moon would never be in the NE or set in the East, I took it as a death premonition now I take it as Mother Earth is spinning backward and likely not happy with us! Or both! Geeze.
     My appetite is decreased either from the chest cold or from stress or not doing anything, I do feel tired a lot too. A piece of my bottom right molar also broke off on Wednesday, it makes that side a little sensitive for chewing but this is no time to see a dentist, how can they even practice during this outbreak? I will be fine worse things have happened to my molars!
     Watched 2011's Contagion last night, an all star cast, big budget film about a fictional pandemic. There are many really good parallels to the real one happening now and some not so good ones as this is a drama after all! I'd give it 3/5 stars because after one hour it goes nowhere, why and what is the story again? What they got right: bat DNA mixing with pigs create a super virus spread thru a Chinese chef to Gwenyth Paltrow who spreads it all over Hong Kong and then Chicago while having an affair on her husband Matt Damon, you deserve it girl, cheatin on Damon tsk tsk! I just watched a bunch of documentaries on the Spanish Flu so I know they have based this fictional virus on that very real virus, quick and gruesome death and a super easy to catch respiratory virus. Widespread panic at grocery stores although in this movie it was more like a riot, funeral homes refusing the dead out of fear of catching it, could happen, we'll see. A long isolation period of up to a year, we are certainly looking at that and most sad of all the teenage girl of Damon can't get bizzy with her beau or even have a Prom! And this can certainly happen as we have closed schools probably for the rest of the year, a lost year for Grade 12's indeed. Imagine losing a year of your life at that age and staying at home with your stupid parents! What they got wrong: As in most American movies there is a competent President, I'm afraid in our real life situation this is not the case!!! And a military to hand out out food, although this resulted in a riot in the movie. A functional and speedy CDC filled with the smartest scientists (Lawrence Fishburn) who created a vaccine in a year. There was one part about Congress cashing in on the plague which  actually parallels a new scandal evolving right now, we will see, I believe it, Republicans are the lowest slime on earth in the Trump era!
     It was the most exhausting week on Earth it seems but we have sun and warm weather for a few days, you can really feel the warmth in the sun and the seagulls and robins should be migrating back soon. Went thru my seeds today, I can probably get by with what I have, I don't know if stores are open, it's going to be mostly food growing I think as produce could double or quadruple soon, no migrant workers, we are about to find out how fragile our food system is and how much we depend on migrant workers from Central America! I was going to host an open garden for the Horticultural Society this summer but everything is in limbo, I don't know if we can morally afford to have decorative plants right now!?!?!? Well the death toll should start climbing next week (and that is my Debbie Downer moment for the day!)

A Pandemic Journal, Early March 2020

     Once again I have not written here in a very long time. I thought I would use this space to journal the COVID-19 Epidemic in a personal way mostly for myself but if someone out there is reading this fill yer boots! These are my observations of a crazy time in human history.

Early March; we've been hearing about the Novel Corona Virus in China for some time, since January maybe? But it has spread to Iran, Italy and isolated possible community spread in Washington State, still seems far away, no panic yet....
     This week finds us taking a trip to Saskatchewan as Gords dad is permanently in hospital, hospice care enduring the final stages of COPD (emphysema). We know that he has been talking about MAID (Medically Assisted something Dying) and when we get there he has pretty much decided to enact this process next week. My first reaction is that the hotel is going to cost too much, we will run out of dog food for Bella the Border Collie and who will water my plants???? I conclude the next morning that I should stay, I can't bail on my in-law family, I have to experience their reactions! We will suck up the hotel cost, it is very comfortable afterall, I can buy dog food and get Gords brother in Calgary to water the plants, he didn't want to come but that story is not relevant now! The background to all this is the evolving pandemic, a cruise ship carrying 237 Canadians is circling off the coast of San Francisco, it doesn't have permission to dock yet, I am following the saga on CNN in the hotel, it's the only damn channel they have besides CTV and CBC for News Networks!We watch the live feed of  passengers waving to the helicopter as it passes under the Golden Gate Bridge, so beautiful, so ominous! One of Gord's sisters has just finished a cruise vacation to Belize and  area and plans to stay in Florida for a month or so as they are early retirees, bloody Baby Boomers who were the "Freedom 55" set, ugh! I just couldn't think of a more insane situation, having someone come straight from a cruise ship to the old folks home where Gord's mom lives and also to the local hospital, what could go wrong??? She and her husband did arrive later that week where I learn firsthand about the stupidity of Republican/right wing thinking during this plague! The guy, my brother-in-law, doesn't believe the virus is dangerous, says it's no worse than the flu, all Trump talking points. I often have to hide my true feelings (sometimes not well) around Gord's family. The real kicker here is that Gord's sister is the former head health authority for one of Canada's major cities, she was the spokesperson for her region during the SARS epidemic so many years ago, she quietly says to her husband that he is not right while I am saying loudly that "you are wrong, the virus is 20 times more deadly than flu!" Gords dad dies the way he choose on Wednesday the 11th, 3/11 if you like, many tears and goodbyes, it was beautiful really, I'll never forget it, I kept thinking of my dad wasting away from cancer, so much pain, who needs it? At some time during this period those people did get off that ship in San Fran and I remember noticing from the CNN arial footage the nice tent Canada had with the large flag and Canada logo featured prominently while what I assume is the US and maybe UK tents looking like shit blowing on the dock ready to process the people coming off. I just thought well this is how Canada takes care of it's citizens compared to other places especially the US ! Geeze. I remarked to Gord's sisters about my observation but these guys never get what I'm talking about, so dense for such apparently smart people! Oh well!
 Gords sister continually checks the Government of Canada to see if there are any restrictions on travel, there isn't and they fly back to the US on that Friday, bad call turns out!
I am already practicing not shaking hands with the many relatives, I keep saying we are not shaking hands anymore! I prefer the Namaste greeting, prayer hands with head nod. Some idiots on TV are doing the elbow bump or the foot tap, that's going to make me fall over I can't do that!!!
With the deed done we're all soon on our way back home, driving first to Saskatoon to spend the night then the 6 hour drive back to Calgary, all the time the virus news getting worse, it's hard to listen to on the radio, mostly I'm mad that the New Wave extravaganza concert we were scheduled to go to in Los Angeles in May is probably not happening! We were also going to stay in a beautiful Art Deco Hotel, The Biltmore in downtown LA and fly first class for once!!! It was going to be great and well deserved, we don't travel or do expensive things! So it was hard for me to listen to my Sirus First Wave channel, everytime an artist would play that was scheduled for the fest I would feel a pang of anger! Another backdrop was the primary race between Biden and Bernie Sanders. Earlier in the trip we had an evening with our youngest niece who is 24 years old and a total Bernie lover! She admonished us for liking Pete Butteigeig, apparently we are mainstream idiots too old and stupid to understand the world! So I was glad Bernie lost badly to Biden and this nonsense would be soon be over!!!As this reality is coalescing I can see Biden as President, I'm not against it, we're going to need consolation after this pandemic for sure, who is better than Biden? Getting home Friday several days later than planned I don't have much to eat in the house and decide to leave grocery shopping for Monday.
Grocery Shopping March 16th; The news is getting quite serious with cases in Canada and Alberta doubling almost overnight everyday. Panic buying of toilet paper at local stores is making the news and I'm thinking is it going to really be that bad? Yes. When I pulled into Superstore it looked like a weekend, almost every parking spot taken and very few carts available yet I got one, maybe the last of 2 in the cart dock. The place is swamped which is exactly what we don't want in this pandemic, why don't they limit the number of people inside the store? I decided to wear leather gloves I got from Gord's dad, I don't want to touch anything! Most people are walking around with no gloves while the Asians all have face masks even tho the experts say they are useless, one couple is in black rubber gloves and face masks while another shopper walks around jabbering in African touching everything like the world is normal. I begin to wish I had a face mask too, it would just feel better, I don't want to be near anyone or breath their dirty expelled air, sheesh! I also begin to understand why Asian markets wrap every single item in plastic wrap, even bananas and avocados that have a peel, I don't want to buy anything people have touched either and opt for packaged tomatoes and mushrooms. I am discovering that not only is toilet paper completely gone so is pasta, beans and canned vegetables, soups but oddly enough not cases of soup, are people this dumb?, yes! I can't complete my list as so many areas of the store are ransacked and empty, I get what I can. The lineups are insane and I am angered after standing in one line the teller walks away leaving me in limbo, I find a better line, all men-few items, I am glad the teller uses gloves and I can use the stylus on the interac machine! I am judgy of those who brought kids or are buying only a few items, who would risk this much exposure to the seething masses? Outside I am almost finished loading the car and a young Asian man wants to give me a loonie for my cart, in normal times this is perfectly acceptable but I don't want to touch other peoples things right now so I tell him no and walk over to the cart dock, he asks again and I tell him this is my lucky loonie and there is a pandemic going around and I don't want your loonie! I get my loonie back and he gets the cart, the last and only one around. I drive home and get cut off by a long bearded red-neck looking guy in a truck, I lay on the horn but he just stares ahead oblivious, I wish him the worst, thanks for assuring my darkest thought about society right now jerk!
Government of Canada tells "Snow Bird Canadians" to get the f*** home! Dollar drops to 70 cents US!
Gord goes to work on Monday, I drive him as he is scared of the bus, he comes home early, this would be the last normalish day.
The news gets worse everyday, live press conferences every morning from Trump and Trudeau, not much to watch on TV.
 Stock Market has dropped thousands of points everyday for several days, what will happen with our investments? What of retired snow birds?
The View continues without an audience as do many live taped shows from NY, weird and creepy. Joy Behar says she is not comfortable coming in anymore, the next day the View switches the set to a very large table, Social Distancing becomes the new word everywhere! We should all keep 6 feet from each other. France imposes strict quarantine measures, walking a dog alone is OK, no one is allowed out otherwise. Canada, not as strict is also encouraging Social Distancing at all levels of government. The US however is lagging, some states, all Republican are allowing people to go the beach and restaurants and carry on spring break as usual. Rachel Maddow Show reports Texas, Florida, Missouri, Mississippi, Idaho and Wyoming (as the ones I can remember) are not saying anything about social distancing! New York and San Francisco are on total lockdown as is Canada.
The Canadian border is shut to leisure travel including the US.
In the background to all this Gord and I have a cold of some sort with coughing! I do not believe it is Covid because I was getting it almost before the Saskatchewan trip but I did have to stifle a cough while grocery shopping.
My neighbour who is a primo milennial and on top of everything knew about the toilet paper shortage before it happend he warned us about medication shortages. Since his father is a doctor he told us to stock up on tylenol for fever and cough syrup with DM for coughing if and when you get sick. He explains that in Asia when people started to get sick these items became scarce or nonexistent as people will panic as with toilet paper! The next day I go out to buy these items. At the same time my mom is phoning me about my inheritance, it is currently under lock in investment until May but is supposed to go to me and she is worried that no one can go out or maybe she won't survive, she is 85 for Christs sake! I am also worried, she is mostly concerned about blaming the Chinese and has about the same scientific understanding as the President...none! She is sort of isolated but probably cannot comprehend social distancing, Casinos are still open, they are a gathering place for the elderly, how can the Alberta government be so dumb? A day or two later Casinos are closed, thank god! I am thinking protect old people, shut down their gathering places, cripes!
I cannot imagine this going on for 6 to 12 months!!! I enjoy my private time, how will people pay their bills? mortgages etc? I am used to being at home and am quite antisocial but most people are not, I am worried this will go badly in a few weeks, like people will go crazy, what if they reach the end of the internet? If winter hangs on people could go crazy, more than usual!
Thursday I awoke at 9am, Gord is in his robe in bed playing a game on his phone, I listen to the View until Trump comes on for a news conference, can't stand it, make a coffee and head back up to bed, it is comforting, now I know why Barbra Streisand likes a "few of her favourite things in bed"!
I keep saying "I can't believe this is happening" in the world, what will we all do?
My millennial neighbours have or had a plan to move to Spain on a youth visa for a year and are trying to sell their house, they come over on Wednesday for a showing, I tell them that I find most young people so much alike and totally boring, they are not like them, I don't want them to move, we love them, the dog loves them, I don't like new people, I have to train them all over again!!! I'm wondering if banks will issue mortgages? There is even talk of restricting domestic travel, it is a possibility. Today they said they may have to stay for the summer and change plans, indeed!!!
I knew there would be a consequence to all this world travel! We have been living in total decadence for many years now, the nouveau riche of China travelling all over the world,as interested in the West as we might be over a strange insect collection. Many young people in our society with good jobs travelling to anywhere overseas like no one has ever done in history before, this is the consequence!
It's all so insane now and getting worse!