By Friday afternoon I am not feeling well at all, the walk with the dog really took it out of me. I can feel the pressure in my chest and suddenly have chills so curl up under a blanket, my temperature is elevated, not dangerous yet but this is making me paranoid, Gord thinks I brought it on myself, histrionics he says. I am really believing that I have the Corona virus and am going thru my mind thinking about everything I have done in the last 2 weeks and also feeling really guilty to all the people and places and things I have touched from here to Saskatchewan too! I am feeling like Typhoid Mary and wondering why our government didn't shut things down a week or two earlier, I guess we were all living in a fantasy world back then? I hear on the news that the UK is just beginning to shut down pubs and gathering and places like Illinois and New Jersey too, it all seems too late now. If I am just feeling symptoms now and it takes 14 days it is all too late my dears! I start saying things like we might have a nice spring this year hope I live to see it. I am feeling too woozy to make dinner nor really have an appetite so Gord is making Calzone's under my remote direction, I get up to make the sauce and notice the smell of garlic is like how I experienced it when I was recovering from my appendicitis a few years back, kind of like bad BO or something, not appealing, and not a good sign for my health. I continue sitting on the couch and listening to my favourite MSNBC programs and playing a game on my tablet. The main takeaways today were Trump attacking veteran NBC reporter Peter Alexander who asked "what do you have to say to Americans who are scared?" It's a low ball question, a gimme in the biz, say something nice stupid, so what does stupid do? attack of course, something like you are a terrible reporter you are "doing sensationalism" Trump says. Since Gord always takes so long to cook I think I have seen the same story at least 3 times on different shows, it induces a string of profanity from me every time, those reporter should walk the f out, that stupid f'n idiot etc. Gord endures the same string of swearing from me and agrees from the kitchen. Another issue is Trump saying a Malaria drug is working even tho Dr. Anthony Fauci discredited this claim in the same presser, Trump says he is a "fan of this drug" it's so stupid, we use "facepalm" on social media for something this stupid. Rachael Maddow proposes that the media stop broadcasting this misinformation from the president, something I have said for 3 years but now it's very serious. These events are just turning into mini rallies for him and we've heard it all before the fake news line BS the attacking reporters and the one I hate most when he tells reporters to be quiet, it drives me nuts! Do people really still fall for this old line of crap? An article from the Washington Post is breaking news tonight by suggesting that Trump knew from intelligence agencies that a pandemic was looming in January! I absolutely believe this, look at the Senators who sold stock before the crash and look at the President who doesn't understand science and said this would all go away like a miracle, I don't think he was being evil (I hope) I just think he really is this stupid! Afterall this is a man who does not understand the difference between HPV and HIV, it's true, look it up! This news makes me even angrier as I now believe I could die or my mom could die or anyone I know and millions I don't, just because President dipshit doesn't believe or understand science, it's irresponsible, it's unforgivable it's criminal and I think this story will grow over the weekend. If true I think he should resign except VP Jar of Mayonnaise Pence might have the virus and is being tested. By the time we get to 9 pm I am pretty hungry and feeling much better, it was a passing bad spell I guess, I ate a small calzone and salad it was good! We watched 2019's The Dead Don't Die, Bill Murray, Adam Driver, Chloe Svigny, not bad I thought it would be funnier, Adam's comedic delivery is getting better these days. I take a cold pill and go to bed feeling not bad, able to breath, no fever.
I awake at 4am, not that unusual for me, often I watch YouTube videos until I fall asleep again but this time I thought it a little early and opted for modern instrumental music on Spotify instead, yes we have it rough in these times! This music is so evocative of sadness, remembrance or the soundtrack of a really good drama, I begin thinking that we haven't really had time to grieve Gord's dad, we went from that hectic event right into this pandemic no time to breath! I begin thinking of everyone I know who died and how they affected my life; the down syndrome playmate who drowned playing near a street drain- swept away into the river, my first dog Misty, my Grandparents, a girl from High School who died at the hands of a drunk driver, my other Grandparents, my brother in law, my second dog Baby Doll, my best friend from Art College, another friend from work- possibly suicide, Gords cousin who I adored and made my trips to Saskatchewan a real treat, my Dad, and finally my Father in Law, what do we do? What on Earth is any of this life for? All we have left is our memories and love I guess, and the love always feels the same. And then I teared up a little thinking about my current dog, Gord and myself will all one day die and hopefully not soon from this virus the god damned President knew about and did nothing about!!! Sheesh that was quite a night! I manage to fall asleep again until almost 10am! Why not it's Saturday? Feeling pretty good this morning my chest is pretty cleared up but all the pressure has gone to my head now! take more meds, feeling less lethal.
President is on TV again this morning! Geeze, this is where we learn Pence is being tested and Trump is doubling down on the Malaria drug stuff again, Ben Carson is standing in the background looking like he's falling asleep against the US flag, I can't watch this! Death rates in Canada are half compared to the States on a per capita basis, they have a lot more density and we started isolation a week earlier, I think it will get worse in the US soon. Italy reports an overnight death toll of 793 people, the figures are racking up everywhere, also especially Iran, where they have practiced zero isolation measures. I just don't see the outbreak stopping, people are still roaming all over the park in groups or family groups and if you stop to think that symptoms don't show up for up to 14 days you can come into contact with a lot of people in that time. I just can't believe most people will tolerate isolation for long! In the words of George Carlin, imagine how stupid most people are and then imagine that half of them are even stupider!
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